It feels like a long time back now, during my school days, I had come across a short story in Hindi. I do not remember the name or the author of the story, or even its content. What I do remember is this word, “Kshanbhangur”, and I am haunted by it; not in a tormenting sort of way, but the word keeps popping up in front of me now and then, when I’m sad or happy or just excited. It gives me hope, stops me from putting everything in one basket, makes me smile, makes me be patient, and tells me to be cautious, all at once and separately as the situation arises.
“Kshan” means a moment; “bhangur” I think means fragile, or destroyable; hence the word “kshanbhangur” means that which lasts in the moment, and would be gone in the next. It is like all my relationships, intense when they last, but they fade away and leave me stranded. But the truth is, if I try to hold on to them, they become futile and troubled. What’s broken can’t be mended, the fault lines remains. Sometimes, they dissolve. You miss them, but you can’t have them back; they are gone forever, they remain in your memory alone.